i love my lgbt body binge eating disorder

"I’ve had binge eating disorder since I was about ten, undiagnosed until about two years ago. And it’s something I’ve really been working on this past year. I think a lot of it had to do with my background and a lot of gender ideals and body ideals that I don’t necessarily want to embody, but were kind of put onto me as something I should embody. 

I was assigned female at birth, but I’m trans and I’m nonbinary, but I present as femme. I have a lot of dysphoria around my body because I’m read as a woman, constantly, but I don’t identify that way and that plays into a lot of the ways that I see my body. Being a trans person who’s read as a woman is incredibly frustrating. What that has led to is me having grown up with the beauty standards that women are ascribed to. So I’ve had these notions that society has told me I have to be thin, I have to be feminine, I have to attract a male husband. They’re so ingrained and rooted in every part of our culture, so to unlearn it, I really had to do some deep searching and I started to change my mind once I started to realize that I didn’t have to be what everyone wanted me to be. 

It’s taken me a really long time to have gotten to the place I’m at now, but something that’s helped me is the queer community, feminist community, body positivity, self care, self love. Therapy has been very helpful. I have a very good support system now. Being in a space with people who are accepting and show their bodies and show their skin and love it really helps me love my own and to have that community is really important. Part of my self care is to be part of the queer community."

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Lily Li